Today Elizabeth from Delightfully Tacky is here to talk about one of the negative parts of blogging – haters. You get enough readers and inevitably, generally for no reason at all, you’ll end up with someone leaving nasty comments. It’s unfortunate and sad that anyone would leave a rude comment, but it happens, so here’s Elizabeth with some ideas on how to handle it.
1. Determine if they’re just crazy trolls who have nothing of value to say, or if they actually have a good point and maybe just said it in a really mean or rude way.
2. Figure out the healthiest way for you (YOU, not another blogger. Everyone is different in how they can handle/deal with these comments) to deal with mean comments. Maybe you have a policy where you just immediately delete them and don’t acknowledge them at all. Maybe you moderate all your comments before they get published. Maybe you just leave them up. Decide how you feel it’s most healthy for you to deal with them.
3. It’s YOUR blog. You don’t have to allow mean comments if you don’t want to. If people tell you that “you can’t take the heat,” just ignore them. It’s a deeply personal decision. I personally decide on a case by case basis whether or not to delete a mean comment. If it’s just totally ridiculous and pointless, or if it’s attacking another commenter, or just plain offensive, I’ll probably delete it. If they’re (rudely) trying to point out something or start a discussion, I might reply. Sometimes people just miss-read or didn’t understand what I was saying, and it’s easy enough to correct their misunderstanding
4. Don’t internalize mean commenters’ statements. Just because someone tells you something, that doesn’t make it true. I’ve had people tell me I’m ugly, I’m boring, my photos are awful, I’m codependent now that I’m married, etc etc. But those things aren’t true, and believing and internalizing them will only cripple my ability to be who I truly am.
5. RE: #4 – recognize that those people don’t know you. The opinions about you which matter are the opinions of those closest to you, which probably won’t end up being your blog commenters. The opinions that matter most to me are those of my best friends, my family, my husband. If they were to make a criticism about me, I would take it seriously because they know me through and through. By and large, blog readers only get a very small snippet of your life and who you are.
6. Think about the ratio of uplifting to rude comments. Chances are, your comments are probably 99% uplifting and positive and 1% rude, mean, and critical. If you look at it that way, the most likely scenario is that someone just doesn’t “get” you, or they’re just having a terrible day and have decided to take it out on you randomly. We focus so much on mean comments because they take us so much by surprise, but go back and look through all the beautiful, positive comments you get– that’s what matters.
7. Haters gonna hate. I don’t get it either, but there are some people out there who just want to spread hate. Their mean comments say more about their unhappiness and jealousy than they do about you and your blog.
Thank you Elizabeth for sharing your advice!
Have any of you had the pleasure of someone leaving a rude comment on your blog? How did you deal with it – just delete and ignore or try and reason with them?