Your B.O. Screwed Up My Chi
I’ve checked another item off my 101 list: taking a yoga class.
Last night after work Mandy and I met at the Fly House for candle lit yin yoga. The room was dark when we got there, other students laying on their mats. Everyone was silent and Mandy and I whispered in the dark, feeling awkward for talking at all.
Class started by focusing on our breathing and I immediately had the urge to laugh – I just couldn’t deal with the silence and seriousness. I managed to contain myself until we moved into a series of floor poses, which were held for 5 or so minutes at a time.
Every time we changed positions one of the women would let out a long orgasmic moan and I would want to start laughing again.
I did my best to take deep breaths imagining waves washing over my muscles as they were screaming in pain. But it was a little hard to breathe regularly with farts and B.O. wafting around me. With the number of people and the size of the room it should not have been that smelly. But it was and I ended up holding my breath and trying to bend so my face was buried in my shirt, which is a pretty good technique if you ever find yourself surrounded by a fart.
The other thing that made me uncomfortable was the giant bare man feet pointing at me. I really, really hate feet. And though they were far enough away that there was no chance of contact I was still grossed out.
As we left the class someone mentioned that “the energy in the room was really different this week.” I wanted to say “Sorry, your B.O. was screwing up my chi.”
I definitely got a better stretch than when I do yoga at home, so I would probably go again. But I don’t think I’ll be able to deal with feet and farts every week.
Comments (17)
oh gross! i’ve never been to a yoga class, let alone tried yoga at home, but i’ve always been interested in it. maybe i should just forego the whole group scene and do it by myself? i hate feet and i can’t imagine trying to relax my breathing around nasty smells…
sillygrrl Reply:
February 2nd, 2010 at 3:18 pm
Lys – yeah it was pretty gross, but i’ll give it another shot. i say try a few different studios and if it’s awful there’s always on demand.
HaHaHaHaHa, this is hilarious. What a way to enter the yoga world.
OH SHIT, you linked me! XOXOX.
Link back. ENGAGE.
It’s hilarious, but also really, really disgusting.
I’m writing a similar post soon… i want to “accidentally” injure some people in my Zumba class. PERSONAL SPACE! What’s so hard about that concept?
I tried Yin Yoga once when my toe was still broken. It was good for that, but otherwise, it’s a little TOO slow for me. It is a good stretch, though!
As for the farting…all that stretching and heat gets things moving, ya know :-)
Haha this had me cracking up! How awful. The smells are kind of why I’m afraid to try hot yoga – I’ve heard it can be pretty bad due to how much everyone sweats (and what they sweat out). Maybe another class will be better next time? (The candle part sounds nice.)
Ha! Oh man, what an experience! Farts + B.O. + scary man feet? I’m scared, mama! hahahah
I’ve only gone to one yoga class — although it didn’t even really seem legit because it was held at my gym rather than at a studio. And I wanted to love it but my mind couldn’t stop thinking of randomness and some of those stretches are tricky, yo! I made sure I had a fresh pedicure before I went. I didn’t want anyone looking at my toes & judging! haha. Oh, and later my friend that I went with made fun of me for not doing the stretches correctly. Dang! :( haha
Ha, sooo cheesy! — “the energy in the room was really different this week.”
And I love your (inner) response & blog title. Classic!
Bahaha I totally know what you mean! Farts though, that’s just horrible. Knowing me and my big mouth I probably would have said something lol.
i laughed my ass off this entire post. i already planned on blogging about “yoga courtesy” tomorrow… i’ll have to link this in there.
seriously. someone ate some MASSIVE nachos before they came.
also, the “different energy” could have been our stifled giggles. i’m so glad you busted out laughing with me as soon as we walked out the door haha. i do want to go again though, i felt SO good after all those stretches.
Your experience is all of my fears about yoga classes combined. I’ve tried a couple different classes and I just can’t get into it. Mostly, I get bored. But I also can’t get a handle on the breathing. I’m always breathing in when the instructor says ‘breath out’ and then I try to fix it and I end up with this weird hyperventilating thing going on.
I can imagine trying to do the ‘breathing dance’ while simutaneosly trying to avoid the wafts of BO.
HAHAHAHA I’ve been wanting to take a yoga class forever, and with my new gym I was planning on it – but now I’m scared all over again by this post!
I would totally be cracking UP. And vomiting.
i’m so glad i didn’t go with you guys. i would have started laughing and i probably wouldn’t have been able to stop and then i wouldn’t be able to show my face at aerial yoga. i hate feet too, so don’t be checking mine out haha.
This whole post made my day. I hate to take pleasure from your pain, but this is hilarious. All I’ve heard about yoga classes is that people always let them rip. I could not even concentrate if that happened and I would totally totally totally bust out laughing…. obnoxiously.
sillygrrl Reply:
January 28th, 2010 at 4:14 pm
Lindsey – haha I’m glad I could help! It was hilarious and the whole time I was thinking about blogging about it.
That is hilarious! I used to record yoga programs and do it in my living room.