December 6 Workshop or conference. Was there a conference or workshop you attended that was especially beneficial? Where was it? What did you learn?

At the beginning of the year, the women’s organization I ran was invited to speak at a workshop for teen girls in Detroit. We stood on stage and explained body image and media literacy to about 100 girls, showing them advertisements and talking about ways to combat negative imagery.

As an exercise in building self esteem, we asked them to write three positive things about themselves on a leaf, which would then be attached to a giant tree on stage. Most of the girls were quickly scribbling on their leaves, while some took a minute or two to come up an idea.

I walked around to the tables in the first row to check out what the girls were writing. A girl with a round face, glasses and a long brown pony tail told me, “I’m not good at anything. I hate myself.” Out of all the things I expected to hear at the workshop, that was not one I was prepared for. I almost cried, right there in front of all those girls. I couldn’t believe at only 13 or 14-years-old this girl had already decided to hate herself.

I held on to my composure and asked what subject she did best. “Math,” she told me. “‘Math?! That’s great!” I told her. “I think math is really difficult, I’m terrible at it.” Then I rattled off some positive traits she might have. “Are you a good friend? A good listener? Do you play sports? Do you help out at home?” She was a good listener and played soccer. “There ya go! Three positive traits. That was too easy,” I told her.

The three hours at the conference went by quickly. I don’t really remember what we talked about, how the girls responded or what anyone looked like. But the image of that one girl saying she hates herself will stay burned into my memory for a long time. I can only hope that we were able to make as big of an impression on her as she made on me.