Photo by Chrissie White
I’ve been thinking lately about girlfriends and my lack there of. Last year I could count the number of ladies I held close to me on two hands. And now? Now I have maybe two women in my life that I want to hang out with on a regular basis and completely trust.
People change – they do things I don’t agree with, they hang out with people who were more than not nice to me, they become people I no longer enjoy being around. It was for the best, for my sanity and happiness that I removed them from my life, but now I’m feeling a bit lonely.
I’m jealous of women who have a handful of girlfriends to hang out with on any given night. Jealous of women who have multiple dance partners and secret keepers. Jealous of shopping trips and hours-long phone calls.
I’m not sure why it’s so difficult to meet girlfriends. I could walk into a bar on any given night and have guys ask for my number more than once. I could have five guys texting me at the same time and dates almost every night of the week, but finding new lady friends has never come that easy to me. I’ve been screwed over, left behind, and let down, so I’m not terribly trusting.
I suppose I should apply the same principles that I used to meet men. Write down all the qualities I value in a bestie, then go out a lot, keep a smile on my face, and chat with everyone.
I’ve also thought about throwing a ladies-only potluck, but I’m a very paranoid party thrower so I’m not sure I’m ready to take on that stress just yet. Maybe I’ll take a class or volunteer instead.
For now I’ll be happy to spend a few nights in snuggling my puppy and reading a lot of books while I wait for the universe to make some magic happen. (It got me an amazing boyfriend, it can surely swing a fantastic bestie)
Tell me…where did you meet your besties?
Comments (8)
I have two close girlfriends. One I grew up with and one I met at a part time job a few years ago. And even with them, I hold back certain things.
It’s just really hard to find girls that are genuine, and that you can trust.
i am the exact same way, i have one girl from high school that i still talk to regularly, and we’re closer than ever. i made girl friends in college, but it was never the same, we would be close for a few months or a year and then go our separate ways. as far as my closest friends go that i have now, it’s my high school friend, and a few of my family members. they’ll always be around. :) i don’t really know how to answer your question though, i’ve never been all that good at it either! i’ve never had the “sex and the city” style group. and as silly as it may sound, i appreciate the relationships i have with some of my blogging friends more than anything.
Oh I feel exactly the same. Honestly all my best friends are guys now.
I totally agree, good girlfriends are really hard to come by. I have met the majority of my friends through work. I don’t work directly for or really with most of them which is nice because then you don’t have to deal with your friend telling you that you screwed something up. But I’ve been here for 4 years, it has taken them a while to reach the “bestie” level. I miss the days of college when potential new friends flowed like keg beer.
The friends that I’ve made outside of work are not people I would consider my best friends. They are normally people I just see socially. And I met them through various volleyball leagues.
Honestly, I’m not sure which is harder: Finding a boyfriend or quality girl friends.
I agree with the first comment, since high school ended, real female friends are hard to come by.
I, myself, don’t have a single female friend. They always end up making everything a competition or they can’t understand my depression and need to take “alone time”. I’ve also found most girls my age very conniving and they sure love talking behind your back. Maybe I am just bitter, because of past experiences, but I’ll stay safe that way.
I’ll take a friendship with a boy any day (although, they sure have their episodes of drama, but that is a different story).
Funny you wrote about this. I have 3 girls that I’ve known since I was young that are my confidants most of the time. But my BFF, though we are still close to a certain extent, we don’t have the same outlook on life. Lately, she keeps putting me in uncomfortable situations and sometimes it feels like she takes a whole lot more than she gives. It’s tiring. Finding good girlfriends is hard. I volunteered at an animal shelter for awhile hoping to find someone that shared my interest in animal welfare but it didn’t really pan out. I’m also ridiculously shy and introverted so making new friends is definitely a challenge!
I am so with you. These exact feelings are why I reached out to my old friends from high school in the first place. Time will tell how the reunion goes tomorrow. Eeeep.
I hear ya! I find it incredibly hard to make new girl friends. In fact, since high school, I have not made a “close” girl friend.
It is sad.
I miss having them in my life.